“WHY DO THE BORING THING AND SPELL IT ALL OUT?”

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

When writing or talking, I have a habit of saying too much to most people. I like to lead into things so people can get a full understanding of where I’m coming from. I think understanding the person you are conversing with will tend to lead to a better outlook on not just that person, or yourself, but life in the general sense. Often times, arguments of any magnitude arise when the speaker leaves something out and thus kills the message, or the listener is either distracted and either doesn’t hear, or misinterpret what has been said. At this juncture, if both parties in the conversation can sit back, chill and listen, an explosion will not occur.

If Person-B does not hear Person-A and then questions what Person-A said, it instantly can light the fuse. At this juncture, what usually happens is, Person-B will cite what Person-A said with a slightly different framing and once Person-A denies it, the argument explodes and then there is no recovery. What would help is if Person-B retains calmness, and asks what was said without adding any belief to what was heard. This way, there is the chance Person-A did misspeak, or even better, hear what was initially said and learn something. Maybe Person-A could think and without the fear of looking stupid, can nod, think a bit and say, “Maybe I’m wrong in this.” At that juncture, it would be awesome if Person-B wasn’t a jerk and simply stated, “That’s fine. We all gotta keep learning.”

For me personally, I run into Text-Level replies and the replies often don’t explain where the commenter is coming from. These are not legit retorts because I wish to not call anyone out, but I get stuff like…

“Yeah, and we all need this because if not, everything is ruined.”

Or…

“Bless your tiny heart we don’t agree on this.”

Or…

“So what you’re saying is if you don’t get your way, then’ we’re screwed. What about my way?”

I sigh at stuff like this. Text and Twitter level arguments that lead to nothing. Usually, these people are simply cowards. I say this because they want to interject their two-bits, but never state a stance with any form of explanation. Then, there are times where if someone responds, they will make it too lengthy with a ton of Gish Gallops. Fortunately for me, when people retort in that fashion they begin with insults. That helps me avoid a lot. There is no Speechify for a reply so the odds are low for reading the reply as it is. That’s why, with respect in my replies to anyone, I let them know fully where I’m coming from, what I mean, how I mean it, and if called for, a thank you. And with that…

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